With a few thousand flickering lights though, lasers, collaborations with some very famous people and someone to cuddle up to they could possible pull it off but nothing is really good enough on this that offers our imagination anything better than what they’ve pulled off in the past. One wonders what came first then, the decision not to tour this album or the songs that we’re not sure we’d want to hear in a massive stadium anyway? It’s difficult to listen to this album without imagining what they’d sound like in a huge stadium and the ones that we can imagine being played may not be as bombastic or euphoric as the songs they’ve already given us in the past. Having trawled through this new Coldplay album two hundred times now I can conclude that there are one or two tunes on this that you could imagine being played in front of a Somerset horizon but even during these we’d be nipping to the loo or back to the bar as they were being performed. They’re not bad people, they’ve given us some great moments over the past couple of decades but this double album doesn’t really contain any of them. ‘…We’re not touring this time, everyone will only want to hear the old ones again, maybe we should play a gig or two in some small museum or church and give any money we make to charity’ ?
‘Chuck another tune on the album and let us know when we have enough songs, it’ll go straight to number one anyway…’ They’ve actually achieved this with aplomb, almost effortlessly it appears. They’re not expected to come out and start questioning our political motives as the bloke from Blur has been doing recently and they’re not like the Who, moaning about people moaning about people that are moaning about Brexit.Įvery time you hear one of these tunes on this album though you can easily imagine the band meeting, all four wearing matching jumpers (We’re imagining this so its not a lie) that proceeded the writing of a check list that reads, happy song, sad song, run of the mill Coldplay song with some huge sing a long backing vocals (and if in doubt about the one you’re thinking of using, nick the one from Sympathy for the Devil), acoustic number, song that sounds like Echo & the Bunnymen, a Christmas song that won’t mention Christmas, one to make us cry with joy and a song to make us cry helplessly as we’re reminded not only of the greatest things in life but the most terrible things as well.Īnd stick them all on one album as soon as they’re done. What a brilliant moment that was even if a few years later you’re still all reading this wondering if I’m being serious or taking the piss ?
We all do it but I don’t think we’d want them to change their ways really do we? – That Glastonbury headline performance when they came on and played half a dozen cracking new tunes before anything anyone had heard before. Imagine not having to get up to go to work and having all that time available to sit on the end of your bed for hours with an acoustic guitar, occasionally strolling into the piano room to tinker away at midday in your underpants, hang-glide down to the studio, invite some musicians over that you met on holiday and bang out a song before supper is served. They all have zoo’s in the back garden situated on the other side of a high wall that sits next to the swimming pool and they get to chomp away on a big vegan roast every Sunday afternoon, cooked by their servants with their huge families by their side whilst they slap each other hard on the backs and smoke big cigars (probably – I don’t know, that’s all been made up as well).īeing ordinary can have its benefits but this is one album too far to be honest.Īnd they’ve released it just before Christmas. Whilst we’ve all been spending the last few years chasing the next adrenaline rush after the last adrenaline rush in the world of rock and roll and getting our thrills here there and everywhere this lot have all now moved into their big houses, along with loads of rescued abandoned animals. Sometimes ordinary is OK though, sometimes its nice to hear something nice and simple you can sit back and drink a cup of tea to even if a larger percentage of our lives is usually spent searching out something slightly more unique, challenging and inspiring.
#New coldplay album review free
Quite ordinary, straight, risk free and polite. They probably always have been, it seems apparent in their music. I don’t know, but at a wild guess I imagine that Chris Martin, the two others whose names I was going to Google (but can’t be arsed now) and the drummer are pretty clean living. No drugs were taken in the making of this record and that’s just the first of a few things I’m going to be making up about Coldplay in this review.
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